jade




Thursday, December 29, 2016

Don't stay. Leave

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It's like fate.

We will meet someone we need to meet in our life at certain time.

We don't know is they passerby or the staying person,
until sometime in the future you realized, that person had left.

Realization might be late.
But it's okay, because when you finally realized, 
the person is no more an important one to you.


It's an expiry date for everything
including the relationship between people.
Only when you are lucky enough, 
the expiry date is on the day you died.

When one don't stay.
They don't mean to stay.


I know, let go of something you really love is hard.
but it is a torture when you forced things do not meant to be yours to stay.



To put it down somehow is better than always lifting 
upset for a while is still better than to be tiring for a long time.


Yes yes, emotions can not be controlled,
I know, I understand, because me too. Being like that.


I always saying that I want to let go.
In facts I'm still holding it, maybe not tight, but still there in my hand.

I don't want to wait.
But I can't help. 
I don't know how.




Well. Sem break is soon.
One Month time.
I hope it's enough for everything. 

:)







Sunday, December 18, 2016

我衹是很任性

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請原諒我
偶爾來得不合時宜的任性。


你問我我開心嗎,我會説我很開心的。
不是沒有煩惱,但是爲什麽要讓別人也煩惱?
我們一起很開心的,就好了不是嗎。
鬥鬥嘴,駡駡架。


我説我沒生氣的時候 是真的沒生氣 真的真的真的
衹不過偶爾會突然感到生氣,不是因爲某些行爲舉止,
就是突然感到失望的生氣。
有一些感覺就是深深地被埋著,土地濕潤的時候突然破土而出。
我已經盡量很快很快地把破土的芽給砍掉了。
可是我燒不到根,除不了。
所以它才會偶爾偶爾又冒出新芽,然後我在來不及做任何措施的情況下,被折磨得痛苦了,
我才會發現它,然後再砍掉。



我其實覺得自己變得好可怕。
我什麽時候是個那麽喜歡哈哈大笑的人。
而且笑完了 轉頭便變得冷漠。




那個手掌不是我的,
那個手臂不是我的,
那個肩膀不是我的,
那個暖腰不是我的,
那個眼神不是我的,
那個笑容不是我的,
那個人,不是我的,
全部都,不是我的。


我不知道了。

給我一點點時間。

讓我的小情緒冒一冒,它明天就會不見的。
明天沒有不見,那麽後天。




是我本來就不愛笑
還是更加不想笑了呢。





我想,
我還想等。
等什麽我不知道。
等等看一切會不會變得好起來。

如果你對我不變,我便對你不悔。

我不知道怎麽把事情變好。
不要再問我“你好嗎” 好嗎
我衹會說好。
我不知道自己有沒有不好
哪裏不好。
總之還是吃吃睡睡。
非常好。







今天穎銀姐姐美美的結婚了。
我卻在這裏浪費了一天。


我的兩件衣服還沒設計
我的logo還沒有頭緒
我還有一張poster還沒好
還有assignment!!!!
我到底在拖什麽。

已經要考試了。

哦,今天第一次吃到了我覺得在Labuan最好吃的雲吞,
所以我決定例那雲吞爲最好吃雲吞沒有之一。

嗯好。
心情已經好了。
謝謝再見。
因爲我睡了一覺醒來了。
很任性是吧。
真開心。

Monday, December 12, 2016

Half month until 2017

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Half Month,
or actually around half a month
until 2017.

Been through a lot ups and downs in these few months.

The successful Mid-Autumn Festival 2016
The okaykay BITFEST
The memorable APK
The suffering assignments, which im still having 2 assignments to be completed now.
The pretty pretty APN appreciation dinner.
The cool BITFEST closing ceremony
The lovely MAF gathering and appreciation dinner.
The awesome FKI Gala Night
and The heartbreaking weeks.

Things did changed,
I'm not sure things got better or worst.

But the important thing is that I'm still alive
HAHAHHAAH.



It's cool.
I had happily-smiling-everyday-days
I had Bitch-resting-face-days
I had bad-tempered days
I had heart-beats-fast-days
I had Silly-hahaha-days
and I had a lot not-enough-sleep-nights but early-wake-mornings.



Appreciating again.
everyone gave me advises regarding everything
from event designs to life advises.
YASSSSSSSSSSS
thank goooodnessss I have got you guys

If you are reading this.
I'm actually thanking you.
guiding me all the way.
advising me all along the road.
and concerned about me.
My feelings, my health problems and all.
I sincerely thank you.
But i don't even know who knows my blog tho.
Glynnis, Qijia, Jinsheng, zhaohan and alllllllllllllllll of you
whoever asked me ÄRE YOU OKAY?


and cute girls in life!
Please be cute as always.
Because you sweet peeps are so good in cheering me up.
and I think I'm so a material for an elder sister!
HHAHAHAHA



starting to pickup and pen and try doodle. starting from a weird doll with large face
i think i can keep it up.
Please pray for me i can keep it up.




Well,
I might had some kind of mood swing.
like, smile so less, people thinking im so fierce, and easily get annoyed or irritated.
and now i keeping HAHAHAHA
i dont know. hahahahaha,
YASSSSS im good, okay?




Don't blame people on things that happened.
Change from ourselves first.
Learn things from mistakes we made.

Maybe collision made us grow stronger
made bonding stronger
or its okay if we get further.

Things do not need to be crystal clear.



No one done anything wrong,

just that maybe wrong timing.
wrong decision. 



and,
hoping CCNKAL2017 will go very very well.
good luck!

and, untill next time!
will miss ya, miss here. ;)










And I realized i do miss. 

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Recent Life

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Maybe there is people will be asking,
"aren't you said you damn need sleep? why would you have time for blog?"
I just need to, I need to confess and make my brain easier.

I have been an emotional person for all the time,
All day, Whole day, Everyday.
Wasn't purposely being like that.
just that, things happened couldn't make me happy or cheer.

Well, I have been telling people that think in the positive ways,
but deep down in me,
I know I can'r either.
when things happened, I automatically thought of bad things first.
as well as a question,
when somebody says that, "I need to tell you something."
First instinct is that, what is the bad news the person gonna bring me.
But I know, it wasn't only me.


I had tried to calm myself, in all way.
sleeps, eats, talks, walks, and anything that i think i could make myself better.
but,
no.
I'm having serious headache, and feeling head spinning, but I just can't sleep.
I did eat, but doesn't eat much, yet ended up with gastritis, hungriness, without appetite.
I don't wanna talk.
I'm so tired of doing anything.
But my brain spins so fast, everything ran through it,
but i don't know what are they.
I wish i can tell someone, but I don't know how to open it up.
and I left it there.
or maybe in my snapchat, sometimes.


I almost went broke down.
Because the person who said who will together fight with me
saying wanna quit.
I used more than a night to calm myself.
feeling really stressed out.

Then things all come together,
its actually me, made things happened.
yes.
It's me who didn't forecast the things, which I should have did.
It's me who delayed all the things, doing other things.

Like now, I'm spending time for this post,
instead of having my database done.
I know, it's all me, made the things happened.
I just can't help.



Sometimes I need to talk to someone,
Sometimes I need to be with someone without talking,
Sometimes I need to be alone,
Sometimes, I just need the warm tight hug.

But, incredibly, I found no one to be the someone,
I almost couldn't breath, but they doesn't understand.
they thought I'm just wanna be spoiled,
they didn't know I'm breaking down, getting out of control.

I am not that kind of person great or good in social.
often doing awkward with peoples.
forgive me, if I'm doing annoying.
If I'm doing irritating,
or even I being ignorant.
Please forgive me.
I am just so not good into these.





And I'm standing up right now,
whoever read this.
I'm sorry if my words disturbed you.
and thank you for reading.

Then I will be standing up and doing positive again.




I always wanna be a person with positive attitude.
I always encourage people with positive thoughts
Now, please, I wanna be positive again.
Then I will be good and strong.
and capable to things and hectic life.






xoxo.


Saturday, October 29, 2016

Time had been running fast!

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And it had been a month, since the last post.
Good news is that, I’m back!
Bad news is that, I have got nothing to update.
Somehow just feeling to come up here.
Month of October, the month of the second event.
Yet, this event didn’t done as satisfied as the previous Mid Autumn Festival event.
Mmmph. Just, so so. Yep.
Best part of the event? I think? It’s overnight in mpp room for twice? And Abang Amos’s house for twice? Oh and continuously 2 nights in jiaxin’s hostel by broking in the locked room (opps)
Best part. Yep.
It had been so, new, hmmph, because, this is the thing I never (or less?) do, since I always follow the rules and regulations and hold my own principles tight. So, yea. J

In this month, went Lazenda hotel 7th floor twice.
One for Ang Pau Night Appreciation Dinner.
And another was for BITFEST closing ceremony.
Was like, woahhh. Hahaha. Yet I still never had chance for lazenda’s cakes tho.
But those were cool, cool like I can doll myself up, like so long I wished for it hahahah.

Oh and, I met Jin and Rueben and Jin’s wife, Michelle in person!
I was one of the crew who fetch them from Labuan airport.
Sit at the first row by taking crew’s priority when they giving talks,
And too taking crew’s priority to stick around them, tho, they don’t know… hahah
But it was like, woahhhh, those used to be in my laptop screen. Is in front of me! And took photos with me some more.
#JinnyboyTV is so cooooooooooool. Hahaha






  ---------
but,
went through all that.
my assignments haven't done. 
and, mid term exams still haven't ready.
im dying. 
but can't. hahahaha.


--------
then, this week is one week of mid term break.
going nowhere except once again labuan one day trip.
as we went Labuan Airport, Botanical garden, Chimney Museum, Labuan Bird Park and too, beach, AGAIN.

though it was actually went for something.
which is shooting videos for assignments, and, those are not my assignments. pathetic.
i had been a cameraman for 2days. 
and looked like a little boy, which... i cannot. ...





.
and now. i should've continue my assignment. kay bye.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Year 2 Sem 1 head start!

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I had been shooooo busy ever since I back into UMSKAL.
Some more, I'm a lazzzy blogger.

Second year in UMSKAL!
feeling... seriously?! time flew.
I turn out being moved from Alpha (inside campus hostel) to Mutiara (outside campus hostel)
everything was good, only have one worst part which i joined events and we have curfew and transportation limits moving between Mutiara and campus.
other than that, everything are okay.

......



a, belated Mid-Autumn Festival wish here
中秋节快乐! haha

Was so much satisfied with all what I had contributed.
One day Trip in Labuan, which it's my second one day trip in Labuan after a year.

and successfully done a MAF night, where our montage video was enjoyed and praised by so much people which made me so moved.

I felt the bond between committees too, the very first bonded feelings.
Im soooo glad, i joined this, sincerely.


The only thing is that, too bad i didnt joined in committee group photo because im a mutiara resident.

Then,
Next will be BITFEST
Business & I.T. Festival,
it's international competition!
checkout more in our facebook page!
Join us yooo!

nehhhh short post for today.
till next time!




Saturday, September 10, 2016

Allergic made me.

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Hi!!!
I am actually suppose to be at Labuan right now,
wellllll, you see, i was sick, and still need to go back for checkup,
so i missed the chance to have fun with PSM.

To be frank, its mixed feelings,
it is some kind of lucky, that i need not to go back that early anymore,
so i spent more time with my beloved ones around me,
and i found i am so so blessed.
Yet, feeling it's a shame that i missed the chance to have fun and go through some kind of hard days with teammate (PSM), it must be tired but fun and could build strong bonding among people, its awful, i missed it.

alright, since i've missed it, its no use crying over spilt milk.



Anyway, why did i admitted into wad?
it was drug allergic thing.
Rashes was all over my palms, arms, face, and body.
even blisters on lips.
I couldn't eat and drink for at least 4 to 5 days.
BUT i didnt get thinner, i've got bloated instead. HA HA HA.


Well, rashes still there, not disappearing, which means shoulders need to be hided
and no nice nice sleeveless clothes.

till next time.



take care of your liver!




Thursday, June 30, 2016

A 3d2n Getaway to Kota Kinabalu

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After sooooooooooo long, I'm back for this post.
It was 15th April to 17th April 2016.
From Labuan to Kota Kinabalu.



Ferry ticket from Labuan to Jesselton Point, Kota Kinabalu cost : RM17 
(for economy class seats)
Ferry ticket from Jesselton Point, Kota Kinabalu to Labuan cost : RM20
(economy class seats as well)

Duration from Labuan to Jesselton Point (vice versa) is around 3 hours.
so, for whom think will suffer for seasickness, my advice is to buy some kind of pills ( ask pharmacy) and you will sleep all along the trip, i mean, the ferry trip.


oh, and for your information, 
Ferry ticket from Labuan is bought from Labuan ferry terminal,
and return ticket is bought in Jesselton Point.



So,
our accommodation was "The Bunk"
(Address: 107, Jalan Gaya, Kota Kinabalu, 88000 Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia)
It is actually located along Gaya Street.
it is around 15-20 minutes walking time from Jesselton Point.



I done the reservation in Booking.com with price RM28/night, and only pay when you check in.
For walk-in guest, it's RM30/night.
After check-in, they will give us a key ( with deposit RM10, if i'm not mistaken), for locker that matches our bed.

It is mixed dorm, which means guys and girls all in the same room. 
BUT, it is bunk, so, we have our own private spaces!
each bed have their own curtain, you can choose to show your spaces or hide yourself behind the curtain, its up to you.
(and it is not hot at all, you see the fan, but there is air cooler up stairs.)



Talking about upstairs,
the bunk dormitory is actually second level of The Bunk Cafe.
and the dormitory is also two-leveled, which means, yes, its a upstairs dorm!
but i think second level dorm is more to couple bed, i mean, for two person a bed.


and the bunk is come with 1 socket, and another is the light switch.
sufficient space ( for me )


A relaxation corner, where you also can refill your water bottle ( if only the water is still sufficient).


after spending sometime to adapt our bunk and get some rest,
We went out for our lunch.
(We took the earliest ferry trip at 8am, arrived around 11am)



And so, we made our way to Suria Mall by walking as well,
We were so damn lucky, we had a plate of Free Norway salmon each in Sushi King, that was around 1pm.

This is the freeeeeeeeee Salmon




And we watched two movies in GSC Suria Mall.
-Jungle Book 
-The Huntsman Winter War

then its night. 



Dinner was Bak Kut Teh.

opps, no photos available.

Sinkee Bak Kut Teh, but to be honest, not really tasty, anyone would want to try bak kut teh,
I suggest the shop that is beside sinkee with 2 shops distance, it was muchhhhhh more nicer.
anyway, im sorry, i have forgot the prices hahaha.

Sin Kee Bak Kut Teh is just opposite Lucky 11 hotel.
and the one i suggest is Da De Bak Kut Teh (something like this, I forgot I'm sorrrry TT)。

Return to The Bunk around 10pm.
Gaya Street is actually a lively(?) street, where the bands and the speakers are loud. haha.
and we happened to be surprised by two never-been-expected guys appearing in The Bunk and stayed one night with us. lol


** The trip is 2 person. Which is me, and Carrine, The beloved coursemate i met in UMSKAL.


-----------
Day 2.

woke up as early as 5 or 6am.
that was an incident, I didn't expect myself to wake up that early!
Breakfast is provided, but you need to request at their counter at the morning.
It is toasted bread and coffee/tea.

We went to clock tower, but it was toooooooooo early, and so, the fence was on, cannot enter clock tower to take a look.
Clock tower is located behind The Bunk, it is just across-the-street-distance.



La backpack mate.

and then we have nowhere to go! So we decided to walk around. 
walk around means, no destination.
and so, we went to the famous roundabout, morning wet market, and walked by a few streets, and finally return to SinKee ( again) for (the second) breakfast. ( and it is still not taste good, sorry)





The trip of four ends here, we go back to two backpackers again.



Thanks to Carrine, we have got car to go some where further, okay, the somewhere further is just Imago Mall.
Lunch, not really a lunch tho, because it was snacks haha.
Cheesy french fries bowllllll. i miss that cheeeeeese.




Imago is all about branded shops, so, the luxuries brands can be found in Imago Mall.
We spent like 4 hours walking non-stop, from shops to shops and and return and returns.
and both us fixed our craves.
i mean, Starbucks craves, like finally.





Return to The Bunk around 5 or 6pm, we were like, soooooooooo tired already hahaha.
but still need to get food right?

We went to upperstar, located near to Burger King.
(Because upperstar have soooooo much branches around Kota Kinabalu)
oh, one special feature in upperstar is that, you can use the computer (for a movie i think?) during you have your meals, but both us didnt do that, ain't that we have a healthy lifestyle, but the computer of our table doesn't have keyboard and mouse, LOL.





I swear it was sooooooo satisfying. We were so slow, a dinner spent us like 2.5 hours hahhahaha.
after done our dinner, we left to The Bunks.
we dare not to stay too long at the outside, since its kinda late and dark, we are only two girls and looks so weak (HAHAHA) 

but, we(I) doesn't feels like to go in The Bunk yet ( Because I'm a anti-social freak), it was crowded inside The Bunk.
So, we stayed outside and tooks photos hahahha.
Below are night views.














-------------------------
Day 3. 
Last Day.
Sunday.
The reason we chose Sunday is because that, THERE'S GAYA STREET SUNDAY MORNING MARKET!!
Its really loud, they have speaker playing songs as loud as you can imagine.
the street  start off from 6am if im not mistaken, but more stalls coming up around 7am. 

View From The Bunk








This is where we had our breakfast.
金沙园 生肉面
same row with Sinkee Bak Kut Teh ( why am i keep go back to here huh?)
mmmph, to be honest, not as good as what I have expected.
but still, okay laaaaa.





spending our time at outside until around 1030am i think.
went back to The Bunk to pack things up and ready to leave.
took 15 minutes walk to Suria Mall, wait until around 1230pm, then we continue our journey to Jesselton Point.
and ended this trip.




We didnt do islands hopping, because the weather is too damn hot, (and I'm the super lazy person)
so we didnt plan that, maybe next time, We still have plenty of time, aren't we?

About The Bunk, their staff is friendly, always give a smile and a "Hi" to me.
but i'm awkward because i don't know how to start a chat, unless someone started it.
Maybe next time, I want to be someone who can talk more. 

At the end of the trip, maybe we get a little bit of irritated or annoyed, maybe is due we didn't get enough rest.
Still, its fun :)

let's looks forward to the next time.






[/] Backpack to Kota Kinabalu
next stop, gonna be....... Brunei.



cameras : Sony A5100, Iphone5s, Iphone5.


Sunday, April 10, 2016

In mood for blog

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Mid-Sem break started.

Seems that lots of our friends left their university and go around either hometown or somewhere else for a short trip.

and I, still in this small campus, and staring on facebook seeing who been where for what.
LOL.



this is a throwback photo hahah. love my toes tho hahah


 And now, I'm allllllllllllllllllll alone in the hostel.
housemates left for home.
roommate left for kota kinabalu trip.

so, in all of sudden.
my house is soooooooooooooooo quiet. 
tho my living style is kept the same, 
but sometimes, kinda scary. #opps.




yet I felt so warmth. 
few people out there keep asking me if I'm okay alone in hostel.
-trying to chat with me, but came out said bye after a line HAHAHA
-another one keep spamming the group chat with stickers and asked who is free to go Tomyam mee with her, but of cause, all of us suggested her her boyfriend hahah.
-one more keep talking nonsense and lenglui(s) non-stop
-there is another one live upstairs like forever lazy to reply me #sigh
-that twitter girl always like my tweets like 5 likes in a row.



#Gwiyopta tortoise in house. hehe sweetest hugs




Now, I'm actually non-stop playing YouTube songs,
in autoplay playlist, so sometimes i don't really know what are those hahha. yet its better than totally quiet house, right?






























 






well,
twice spaghetti in a row, Carbonara and mushroom.
the last one is tomato rice HAHAH.

how can someone doubt me I can't cook wehh.
yea tho the spaghetti was actually prepared by carrine BUT, I used to cook spaghetti in home, kayyyyy.







 


and THESE,
was my late dinner or late lunch.
Dinner always done around 9pm or later, I had no choice lol
and late lunch done around 2-3pm. LOLOLOL

anyone save me from my messed schedule?

anyway, I'm trying to cook for myself everyday.
from rice to porridge to noodle.
its kinda dull tho,
no fresh vege at all #sigh.





A little throwback to the L'aperitif  we had after the french class weeks ago.
our professeur definitely doesn't look like a professeur, he is like in our age!

L'aperitif is actually meant light snacks before meal, one of the meal culture in France. :D











Yes, this is a definitely random post hahahah.



those hungry gets hungrier #opps.







Good week ahead, visitors!